My name is Robbie and I’m so grateful for this opportunity to share some of my journey and to encourage you that when you trust in God and give all control over to Him, miracles happen.
Twenty-seven years ago, I had a fall injuring my lower back which has left me in some form of pain ever since. I have also suffered from migraines since I was 12 years old. When I was pregnant with my first child 22 years ago I lived in a pain clinic for a month to help me better manage the pain and my medications.
As the years went on the medications became stronger as my body became more used to them and I started to take them more regularly. Before I knew it, I was taking so many that I was fast becoming out of control. I had a few talks with my doctor who was concerned about the amount of medication I was taking and so in 2009 he referred me to a Neurologist. She was sympathetic and explained drastic measures that could be taken but was convinced that because I still suffered back pain and migraines that it would be of no use as I would still need the tablets for pain relief again.
I tried in my own strength to reduce the amount of medication I took but that was pointless. Eventually I returned to the Neurologist where I found out more about the “drastic measures” that she was talking about. She explained that if I tried to stop altogether without help my body would go into shock and the pain of the withdrawal after 20 years would be too extreme for my body to cope with. Her suggestion was for me to be put into hospital in ICU for 3 days in an induced coma, filled with another drug to counteract the Codine my body was so used to having, be weaned off that way and gradually brought out of it to see how my body was coping. She explained that there was a slight risk of death attached. I was so incredibly freaked out that I was not prepared to go through with it.
In January 2010, I spoke to my doctor again and he told me he was not going to write me another prescription until I went to a rehabilitation clinic. He said that he was afraid he would get a phone call to say I was dead. Still the thought of leaving my incredible family and going into a cecntre scared me so much. I like to feel in control of things and to me that was just not going to happen. On 16th February whilst at a prayer meeting at the church we were then attending the pastor said to us all “Imagine what we could achieve if we all changed our thinking from negative thoughts to focusing more on Jesus?” That was something to think about! Then he said “I’m giving you all a 21 day challenge. Every time you feel a negative feeling or a headache or you feel sick, instead of complaining about it…stop yourself…change your mindset and say the words…JESUS IS THE ANSWER!!!”
Praying that night, I told God that I was not prepared to go to the rehab and leave my family for even 1 day. The devil did not have any hold over my life and if I was going to get off this medication then God was going to have to do His thing. I looked at my tablets and saw that there was only had a packet lift. The fear that came over me was debilitating. I stood there frozen for a few moments until I remembered the words I had just heard…JESUS IS THE ANSWER!!! So I started to say them. The fear left my body instantly.
I would love to say I threw the tablets out straight away but I didn’t. I got down to only a few left and the fear would almost cripple me until I spoke those words... JESUS IS THE ANSWER!!! I am here to declare that indeed Jesus is the answer. I took the last tablet and with keeping my eyes firmly on Him, I can say that I had not one side effect, not one withdrawal, not one craving and not one desire to return to what had had such a stronghold on my life for over 20 years.
I waited almost a month and then went back to my doctor who couldn’t believe how well I looked. He commented on hoe I couldn’t stop smiling and that my eyes were so clear. He said I must have been to rehab because I couldn’t have done it on my own. That’s when I began to tell him how I was never on my own. Jesus was with me every step of the way. I told him God had given me a prophecy years ago saying that the many hard things I had been through He did not plan but He allowed to happen so that I would be able to help other women who are going through similar trials. I asked God why I had to experience such hard things myself. Why could I not read about them in a book etc? But He told me that unless I had experienced and lived them myself then I would not have the heart and compassion to truly know what others are going through.
My doctor put his hand out and shook mine and told me that this amazed him. He said that I truly will help others going through similar struggles and that I was an inspiration. He said to me “You really are very determined, aren’t you?” I told him that because I know it was impossible for me to do it on my own, impossible for me not to have cravings or withdrawals, impossible to be feeling as fantastic as I do and he agreed to all of that then I know that God has done this for me. There is no other logical answer.
It’s now 2017 and I’d love to say that it’s all been smooth sailing since then but unfortunately, we live here on Earth and with earthly bodies and mine has faced many challenges. With at least 5 operations and many hospital stays needing far stronger painkillers than I was addicted to before I’ve always trusted that God will protect me and He’s not let me down yet!
In January, after yet another bowel operation, I was left with so much pain in my tailbone that I needed two doses of morphine daily. I was devastated that I was relying on tablets again. I couldn’t get through a day or night without them. I couldn’t work, sit or even walk pain free for 8 months. Eventually we killed the nerve, which helped a lot. I no longer needed the medication but what would I do now? Being faced with the reality that I’d needed such a strong drug twice daily for 8 moths what would happen to my body when I stopped taking it? I began to fear. I started to look inward and the self-talk began and I truly doubted that I could get through it on my own until I realised that I’m not on my own. Jesus was the answer last time so He’ll be my answer this time. I decided to stop the medication instantly and not gradually, which I’m not saying was the smartest thing to do, but it was something I strongly felt I needed to do.
I knew that God didn’t bring me through the journey last time to just leave me hanging this time and I was right. He did it again. He is my healer, my saviour and my friend.